Tom Levinge

Second episode of my web series - written by excellent comedian...

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 09:11:14 -0400

Second episode of my web series - written by excellent comedian Luke McQueen

First episode of my new web series. Please share etc. if you...

Mon, 01 Apr 2013 05:59:35 -0400

First episode of my new web series. Please share etc. if you like it. Lots more on the way.

Oh The Doctor! When will he find the Ying to his Yang? The...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 20:01:39 -0400

Oh The Doctor! When will he find the Ying to his Yang? The Juliet to his Romeo, the Tango to his Cash? Probably never because of his aggressive halitosis.

Just a quick doodle while I was watching a documentary about a...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 19:54:16 -0400

Just a quick doodle while I was watching a documentary about a midget struggling to raise her infant child.

This is gonna be a little book then I’m going to make a...

Tue, 26 Mar 2013 19:51:50 -0400

This is gonna be a little book then I’m going to make a film out of it not that you asked.

Whatever is behind this brilliantly designed door which seems to...

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 05:34:53 -0400

Whatever is behind this brilliantly designed door which seems to have no wall surrounding it. Free standing? Maybe.

Mysterious creature ride…comes at quite a price

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 05:33:19 -0400

Mysterious creature ride…comes at quite a price

Some of the cold hard facts about the undead creatures your...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:26:25 -0400

Some of the cold hard facts about the undead creatures your teenage daughter wants to make love to.

So chuffed (happy) with my newest ebay purchase. Just simply...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:25:41 -0400

So chuffed (happy) with my newest ebay purchase. Just simply HAD to share it with you guys.

Over heard this story while I was in a stranger’s car...

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:22:50 -0400

Over heard this story while I was in a stranger’s car doing 90mph down the M1.

Just a few things here, nothing to worry about.

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 11:22:04 -0400

Just a few things here, nothing to worry about.

What Andrew Said

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 18:52:00 -0500

According to my cousin Andrew

Who, btw (By The Way) used to be a personal trainer so he knows what he’s talking about

You’re supposed to wear underwear under your Gym Shorts

When you visit the Gym

Ever since I bought my first pair of Slazengers (Police-blue, white double stripe down both legs, zip pockets, annoying draw string waist band)

For £4.99 in the sale in Sports Direct

Which turned out to be a bit too big and baggy for me

I haven’t worn underwear in the Gym.

Just to be clear - No boxers or Ys or anything under the Slazengers.

Commando if you will.

The Slazengers have an inner mesh, much like a swimming short.

That’s probably how I justified the whole sorry business to myself.

The presence of the mesh.

Which makes it sort of like you’re wearing undies.

After a sesh (Session) in the Gym,

Doing 15-20 minutes on the rowing machine and avoiding the room with all the weights that me and a girl called Jasmine I sometimes talk to agree reminds us of a Prison Gym

My shorts smelt revolting.

To be really honest with you here

They smelt like a homeless man’s crotch.

What I did was

I washed the Slazengers frequently

and pretended everything was fine.

Everything changed for me (Shorts-wise)

When my Mum (Kathryn) was going to chuck out her husband (Robert’s) Nike Gym Shorts (Navy-blue, single stripe down right side, no zips on pockets, slim-fit)

I said I would give them a good home.

When I took the Nikes out for their first sesh (Session)

It was the middle of a work day (Tuesday) so it was only the elderly and women around

Therefore I didn’t feel self-conscious

About going into the prison room and using the Big Boy Weights

So I was especially sweaty.

After lifting all the weights.

As a result the Nikes were odorous

In a way I never imagined shorts could be.

A nightmarish, ungodly, cacophony of scent-horror.

At the time I was convinced the intensified smell was due to the Nikes being

Sans Mesh

The lack of inner mesh also instilled a fear of my fellow Gym-goers

Seeing a testicle or worse.

So when Andrew drove me down to our Granny’s house

In his new MG (which he bought on a whim because his Dad ((Uncle Edward)) had one and he was jealous)

To see our Grandmother because she was dying of cancer which had spread from her liver to her lungs

And she only had three months left to live

And when I asked him about the shorts thing

He told me that everyone else wears underwear under their Gym Shorts.

Celebrity mugs are, as we all know by now, better than our own....

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:51:52 -0500

Celebrity mugs are, as we all know by now, better than our own.

Kitchen items. How many do YOU own?

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:51:11 -0500

Kitchen items. How many do YOU own?

Conspiracy theory!

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:50:08 -0500

Conspiracy theory!

That Norman is quite angry (all the fucking time.)

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:49:27 -0500

That Norman is quite angry (all the fucking time.)

A fantastic little read for the weekend.

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:48:48 -0500

A fantastic little read for the weekend.

Fish + Loaves and the issues therein.

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:47:44 -0500

Fish + Loaves and the issues therein.

A blessed re-union.

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:47:01 -0500

A blessed re-union.

A desperate plea.

Wed, 02 Jan 2013 16:45:53 -0500

A desperate plea.